#4 Win the lottery.

When turning 18, most people celebrate by doing customary “I’m finally an adult” things. They buy some cigarettes to not smoke, some porn to destroy immediately (because even though it’s legal, it is still a disgrace to humanity), and of course, some lottery games to lose. My curfew was now 12:30 – you know, because now I’m an adult and everything – and I was planning on going the night of my birthday to do all of these grown-up things

But I have an unfortunately lame twin sister, who fell asleep around 11:30 p.m. watching Tangled. She refused to wake up to go with me to the gas station for our big 12 a.m. moment. Alas, I never became a true adult.

My friend Anna took pity on me today and came with me to 7/11, where I spent $3 on scratch-off cards.

And I hit the jackpot. (See winning ticket below for evidence).

My winning ticket!!

I considered keeping my winnings anonymous, so my friends, family, and acquaintances wouldn’t call me up and try to take advantage of me. You hear horror stories, right? Of people ending up with nothing but their money, dying lonely and very very rich. In the end though, I decided that this win was too big not to be shared.

Play the lottery if you never have! Beginners luck is real, trust me.