#92. Call the product complaint hotline.

My friend told me her pudding was watery so I offered to call the number for her to complain. I tried the number but their office was closed. Not ready to give up my desire to complain, I called the number on a container of yogurt instead.

The conversation went something like this:

Yogurt company: Hello my name is Sarah, thank you for calling C—–Yogurt, how may I help you today?

Me: Hi, um..

What should I say? I can’t say the yogurt is watery. It’s not. Think of something else. I panicked and said the first thing that came into my head.

..um, I’m gluten free. I was wondering if it’s safe for me to eat this product?

Yogurt company: Yes, most of our products are gluten free. So depending on the flavor, you should be fine.

Why would I say that? I’m not gluten-free. More importantly, that isn’t even a complaint! I called to complain!

Me: Um okay.Thank you.

Yogurt company: You’re welcome.

What a lame way to end the conversation. I thought. I didn’t even complain. I should complain.

Me: I didn’t like the yogurt.

And because I couldn’t think of anything else to say, I hung up. Poor Sarah probably thought I was trying to prank call her or something.

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