#106. Conduct a meaningless survey.

With the Social Psychology final quickly approaching, hundreds of students are bustling around conducting surveys, asking questions, and desperately trying to collect data to use for their sociology experiments.

Unfortunately, I do not take Social Psychology. Nevertheless I decided to collect some of my own information using a short, five-minute survey. Here are the results (sample size 10):

1. Would you rather have a beard forever or be bald forever?

Results: 70% of students answered that they would much rather be bald forever than have a beard forever.

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2. Do you prefer:

a) Skim Milk

b) 2% Milk

c) Whole Milk

Results: Fascinatingly, 50% of respondents said that they would drink skim milk as their milk of choice. Only 30% chose whole, and 20% picked 2%.

3. Do you believe that cucumbers are a fruit or a vegetable?

Results: This one was shocking. I am ashamed to say that 70% of the Brown students I surveyed believe that cucumbers are a vegetable. Yet cucumbers are quite obviously classified as accessory fruits. Not vegetables. To the three students that knew this, albeit not confidently, congratulations on being smarter than us all.

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4. Do you still have your wisdom teeth? If so, why?

Results: 50% of respondents have had their wisdom teeth removed. 10% responded that only half of their wisdom teeth have been removed, and the remaining 40% have never had this procedure. Reasons for which include:

  • “Yes, haven’t had to remove them.”
  • “Yes; they are still coming in and sometimes drive me crazy. I may get them pulled this summer.”
  • “Yes. just haven’t gotten to remove them yet.”
  • “Yes, they haven’t bothered me or my dentist.”

5. Rate your current level of happiness on a scale of 1 to 10.

Results: 90% were either a 7 or an 8.

Conclusion: The happiness level of everyone surveyed increased after the survey. Therefore, because of the survey, respondents felt happier. So in conclusion, doing surveys makes people happier.

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